A Monday Mid-Afternoon Ode to Caffeine

O caffeine! you crystalline xanthine alkaloid,

how would I smile without your dihydro trimethyl 

purine pureness pumping through

my shriveled arteries, my murky

Monday brain?


Some call you bitter, but bitterness is what you banish

 with four swiftly fired shots

of espresso, a volley of coffee and cream. 

Guarana, kola, yerba, yaupon, Pepsi and Hershey's, 

even Excedrin relies on you to live. 


I pity the poor creatures who must wake

without you, spiders and dogs and

Christian Scientists.

They don't trust the tweaking,

can't bear the buzz. I will drink you

for them, sacrifice

my bladder and liver, 

 welcome in return

the fierce five hour burn

you bring to my belly.  


I'm sorry for all those times I betrayed you 

with B-12, taurine, and ginseng, but really,

it was your fault.You weren't antagonizing

my adenosine receptors fast enough. I beg you,

bully my neurons into brightness, banish my blinking, sweep 

Saturday's garbage, Sunday's sleepy cobwebs

 onto the dingy weekday sidewalk. 

Get physical--but spare me

the post-300mg anxiety.

If you're offering


let's save those for Friday.